To any of my children reading this post, please be assured that this is NOT directed at you. It is just a bit of a ramble about my reality at the moment … okay? Okay. (Insert smiley face here.)
Ahem … let’s begin.
For the past six weeks we’ve had our ultra-sweet, eighteen-month-old, grandson, Nolan, and his mother, living with us. They’re not here indefinitely and will be joining Daddy State-side before too long. I can honestly say that except for one sick and super-fussy weekend, (Nolan, not me) we’ve loved every minute he’s been here.
This live-in situation has made me realize how spoiled I’ve become now that I’m no longer responsible for small-types on a daily basis. I love keeping my own schedule, and I love the quietness. That said, I also love having the little kids around, and I try to make plenty of time for them. However, except for a few notable exceptions (like last winter when daughter Beth was confined to bed for several weeks at the end of her fourth pregnancy) it’s mostly been on my terms as I plan their visits between the rest of my commitments.
On days that I don’t work, I love having them here for one-on-one bonding, usually sleepovers. I figure that if I invest in them as youngsters, when they’re older they might still acknowledge that they know me. And when I’m really old, they might be all I have, so the payoff could be huge. But when they’re finished here they go home, and my life is quiet.
Having a child under my roof again reminds me of the “constant-ness” of that life, and my hat is off to parents of young children: busy working parents, busy stay-at-home parents, and busy parents doing it alone. I’ve been there and done that, as the tired old saying goes, and I now stand in admiration of your stamina and the great kids you’re turning out.
My other hat is off to all those who have remained childless by choice. You, too, have chosen a challenging and fulfilling path, and I admire you for recognizing that your life is complete without children. It might have been difficult to stick to your guns, quite possibly in the face of questioning or criticism.
On to a different, although not entirely unrelated, topic.
Some of you may remember that I’m in the early stages of a second novel. It’s true, I did report that the basement had been dug and foundation materials delivered. The problem is, the workmen never showed up. They just haven’t been able to take time out of their personal lives to get the project going, if you get my drift. So, in an effort to make real headway, I’m off to the library Saturday morning. I need a quiet day, free of interruptions, to get that foundation laid, and once it’s in place I’m sure the rest will come along more easily. At least that’s my theory and hope.
Which brings me back to my first topic.
Difficult as it is to step back and take a greedy day all for myself, that’s exactly what I need to do. My husband understands. The rest of my family understand. It’s only my guilt-ridden heart that has to be convinced.
ANDREW UPDATE: A large building project in our town ground to a halt recently due to alleged financial problems with the builder. Andrew proudly informed us this evening that construction stopped because the company was “bank robbed-ed”. It must be true, because he took a walk over to the site himself and the huge crane is gone.